Problem solving…
I’m a private person.
Yeah, right, you say… how can anyone who blogs be a private person?
Well, that’s what I’ve been having a hard time with lately.
I tell people about my blog. I like it when people read my blog. At the same time, I occasionally find myself censoring what I write on my blog. Every blogger has this dilemma. I know they do. I’ve read countless posts about how frustrating it is to have a public blog and feel like you can’t say everything you want to say.
I started my blog as an attempt to find myself. And it’s worked. It’s helped at least. I still can’t say I’ve figured myself out… I hope that’s a constant learning process through the years. I can say that I now know myself better than I used to. I believe a lot of that is due to my life and the self-discovery I’m going through as a 27-year-old single homeowner… but I can honestly say a lot of it is also due to my blog. The simple matter of writing something down helps me clarify it in my mind.
I’ve known this forever. It’s always been easier for me to figure something out if I write it down. Whether it was a math problem or an emotional problem. When J and I would fight and I couldn’t quite spit out what I wanted to say, I’d go write it down. Not only would this put things in perspective for me, but it would allow me to understand what it was I was upset about in the first place. And then I was able to go back and say, here’s my problem.
So. Now that I’ve gone through the analytical process (don’t worry if you don’t follow, I never quite understand how it works either…), I can tell you my problem.
I’m dating. Kind of. And yes, that’s a problem in itself, but the BIGGER problem that stems from the problem of dating is my desire to post dating stories… my desire to evaluate on my blog the men I’ve gone on dates with…
This is hard to do when I believe they read my blog…
How can I rant or rave about one guy when I think another guy will read it?
So… I’m left keeping my musings to myself until I can narrow down the dating pool and focus on one individual…
(which I think I’ve done but not conclusively… so, the wait continues…)
Sorry to leave you hanging…
KT: Do what you feel you gotta do… Personally, I would be (and, frankly, always have been) reluctant to discuss “in public” certain aspects of of on-going personal relationships. I have always believed that those things are only between the two people involved. For instance: When I was in high school and college and dating, I never talked about my dating experiences in front of other people, whether it be in the locker room, during team practices, group studying, socializing in the cafeteria or Student Union, or basically where ever. I always felt personally bound to keep most of the aspects of a dating relationship private, out of respect, for whoever I was dating, so that something I inadvertently said to someone else would never cause embarrassment or hurt feelings to the other party. Please understand that I am just sharing thoughts here, KT, not giving or offering advice. You and the little voice inside you must decide what it OK for you guys! Have fun!
As you well know, I am not one to offer any advice re: discussing your relationships in blogland.
I will say this though – I’m not sure I could ever be with a man who couldn’t deal with it. I put it out there. That’s the point of my blog. Take it or leave it.
(Like a cowboy’s gonna read a BLOG anyway? Girl, please.)
I say “GIVE IT UP!” Tell us what’s going on. Give us all the gory details. Let us live vicariously through you!
But that’s my own selfish opinion.
I find blogging about my dating life is a bit tricky too… But I don’t really discuss my blog outside of the Internet. I definitely don’t tell the guys I date about it. That way I can continue to share without making things weird with anyone.
However, if they do read it- so be it. At least I keep them anonymous.
I say you start a secret anonymous blog and spill everything. Just don’t forget to give me the password. That’s kind of the whole point.